My weirder flipside

Sometimes, when I am idle and the weather is gloomy, I think.

I think to the point that my head hurts.

And I can’t think anything else other than my headache.

But ramblings aside, I know and understand and have long accepted it that I have two sides that I present to the world. When I am left alone, I am mostly melancholic and introverted but when I am with people I am comfortable with, I am random, blunt, goofy, silly and out-going.

Sometimes I get confused because there are moments that even with these comfortable people I feel alienated and I want to sulk and wallow in my self-imposed misery, but I have a facade to keep up. For most people, I am a carefree person who laughs spontaneously and do silly things to entertain them.

But I get tired too.

And I can’t keep up with the expectation.

So which side is the real me?

I reckon, I am both sides.

But people will never get both sides (unless they are lucky enough).

It’s always this side and on the flipside.